Shameless Self Promotion 08/03/2005 Yffi finished reading the scroll and placed it carefully upon the shelf in its appointed place. It was the last document from his original collection, the scouring of 353AT. Six years it had taken him; six years of stealing time from his multitude of duties and projects, of late nights spent poring over dry and dusty tomes as the lamps flickered and made the words dance upon the page, years of scratching out notes on document after document, cataloguing, categorizing and sorting. And, at last, it was done.He rubbed his eyes, then his face, and stood up to survey his completed work. Shelves lined the wall before him, each one filled with scrolls and books, neatly labeled and numbered in his own hand, ordered by date from left to right. To Yffi's eyes it was beautiful, the key to understanding, the beginning of education for his people. Six years of toil had brought him to this moment of satisfaction and every minute spent in the work had been worth it. He allowed himself this brief moment of achievement, delighting in the order and reason he had imposed upon the chaos.But there was work to be done. With a sigh, Yffi picked up his stool and turned to face the room.Behind him now there was a task completed; before him spread a scene of confusion and disorder. Four large tables occupied the center of the room, each one laden with piles and heaps of documents, scrolls, books, ledgers and papers, lying at all angles, this way and that, one above the other, a jumble of knowledge and wisdom and fact that awaited his touch. And all cried out to him with soundless voices that they be first, that they held secrets and whispers of long ago, news from the past and thoughts of great minds.Yffi moved the short distance to the nearest table, placed his stool at the end and sat down. There was a note on the top of the nearest pile. In Ulvett's handwriting, it announced, Rescued from the sack of Kulinkort - 354AT. As good a place to start as any, thought Yffi, as he reached for a great bundle of scrolls that lay just beneath the note. He took much care as he untied the twine that held them together. These were old, he knew already, dating from before the invention of bound books. The coarse paper was tough, however, not yet brittle but rough with imperfections beneath his fingers.The scrolls spread out before him. He reached for one and saw immediately that it was numbered on the outside. Five. That was unusual. But it would help Yffi not to have to sort them himself. Some ancient scribe had the foresight to understand how time-wasting the sorting of scrolls could be to a new reader. Yffi nodded once in gratitude as he turned the scrolls, seeking the number One.He found it and began to unroll it with care. It was long, too long to be a legal document or trade transaction. Interesting. The end of the document was still furled when he had sufficient unrolled to begin to read. It was written in a neat and precise script, the characters small and tightly-packed on the paper. Clearly the work of some well trained scribe with a passion for neatness. The characteristic old Hussoran script flowed like some complex design or pattern to cover the dull surface. Yffi settled himself to read.At first, he could make little sense of it. The sentences were short and appeared to come without reason or meaning.Here you, boy, give me a hand, would you?You afraid of me, boy?What did you do, boy?Your crime, boy, you must have done something for them to throw you in here with me.Bloody hell, that's a bit more than they need, isn't it?Yffi stopped reading. He had never seen anything like this in all his years of study. The language was Hussoran but crude and simple, so different from the complex and poetic phraseology typical of their documents. This read more like...And then he understood. He was reading one half of a conversation. For some unknown reason, this scribe was making a record of the words someone had spoken. A transcript, then. Yes, that was it, a transcript. But why? This was so much outside Yffi's experience that he was completely perplexed. It made no sense at all; the Hussorans just didn't do this kind of thing.He thought of getting Ulvett to help, then remembered that his Hussoran friend had departed the day before on yet another search for surviving documents in his homeland. And already Yffi was too intrigued by the document to await Ulvett's return. He would have to work out this mystery himself.Yffi sat forward, concentrating, to start again from the beginning. He read carefully now, trying to construct the other half of the conversation from what was written. It was difficult, but slowly a picture of two men in a cell began to form in his mind. One older, since he called the other "boy", the other writing, just writing, in between answering the other.And then Yffi came to a few lines that froze his blood and made time cease.Well, the fact that you're crapping in your pants about being shut in this hole with me. No, no, you don't have to pretend, we both know I'm one of your dreaded sea wolves and you're bloody terrified that I'm just biding my time till I can rip your head off. It's the truth, isn't it?For a long time, Yffi sat there unmoving, his mouth agape. He could not believe it, did not dare to hope. And yet... He said, "sea wolf", he definitely said, "sea wolf."Thoughts multiplied in his mind, questions, possibilities, visions, all tumbling together, one against another, reason abandoned. He struggled to regain control. Get a grip, Yffi, he thought, while a constant litany of "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..." filled the background to his consciousness. Careful, Yffi, don't go leaping to conclusions. Wait for confirmation. Wait, wait. He forced his mind back to calmness and began to read again, this time alert to any hint or sign that he might be right in this impossible hope that had seized him.He did not have to read much further before it came.Oh yes, I was one of the originals, you know. Came out with Penda in the summer of 156 and helped build the first houses at Pendasholdt.Yffi could not help himself. The explosion of joy in his heart forced him from the stool and he began a crazed, limping, haphazard dance around the room, shouting and singing, "Yes, yes, yes, impossible but true, it is here, I have found it, I have found it, I did not dream it, it's real, it's real, it's real!"Had Yffi not been as warped in body as he was straight and true in mind, he might have danced the remaining hours of the night. But, in time, tiredness slowed his ungainly dance and reason began to quell the fountain of excited words and sounds from his lips. Panting from the exertion of his dance, he returned to the stool and sat down, his eyes not on the document immediately but closed in the effort to think clearly.He knew now what lay before him. He had found a record of the words of one of his ancestors from a time when writing was unknown amongst them. A time that he had thought forever deep in shadow, hidden from view by the centuries, glimpsed only in vague, tantalizing glimpses in the writings of other nations. A time that was lost, now suddenly regained through the pen of this unknown scribe. And he, Yffi, had found it.In awe at the chance given him by fate, his whole being wrapped in reverence for what lay before him, Yffi opened his eyes and his mind, bent to the document and continued his reading.
--ooOoo--This is an account of Yffi's discovery of the document now known as "The Gabbler's Testament". That document forms the basis of the book of the same name for which I am presently seeking an agent with a view to publication. If it whets your appetite, good. If not, well, I guess I can't win them all...
Clive
Mad Good stuff Dad. Really makes me interested in Yffi (and it would in the Gabbler if I didn't know his story alreay). I have one reservation though: The cataloguing system seems too modern to me. Date Added: 08/03/2005
Gone Away Yffi had a tidy mind and was way ahead of his time, Mad. Only to be expected in one who brought about the literacy of his people. And, if I say it was so, then it was so... ;) Date Added: 08/03/2005
Rusty Only you could make a scroll-sorting interesting. Very intriguing and YES I want to read more :-)This wouldn't be the same 'The Gabbler' from a previous story, would it? Date Added: 08/03/2005
Gone Away Thank you, Rusty. It is indeed the same Gabbler that we read a little of in The Box. Date Added: 08/03/2005
Ned Wonderfully enticing, brilliantly executed. Marvellous. Date Added: 08/03/2005
Gone Away Oh thank you too, Ned. You are too kind. :) Date Added: 08/03/2005
Keeefer I'd buy it. Good stuff Gone. I suspect from the shameless self promotion and lack of yesterdays post that you are short on inspiration :) Date Added: 08/03/2005
Gone Away Partly, Keef. But also I feel quite strongly that I need to getting on with longer things (Yffi's Saga for one) than these little daily blogs. As my thoughts turn towards that, it is harder to come up with something for the blog. I am talking to Mad about it, however, and a change is planned that would split the blog into two: the existing blog would continue with entries as and when I could manage them, and the new blog would be for developing longer projects. Watch this space. ;) Date Added: 08/03/2005
keeefer Will do, in the meantime check out http://www.keeefer.blogspot.com I love Shameless Self Promotion ;) Date Added: 08/03/2005
Gone Away Okey dokey, Keefer. :D Date Added: 08/03/2005
Josh So, Mr. Gone -- Are you thinking of your own domain sometime soon? I think it might be time for you to fly the coop, grasshoppa. (Mixed metaphors. I love 'em.) Date Added: 09/03/2005
Gone Away I haven't the technical expertise to do it, Josh, nor the time to acquire it. And, as long as Mad can provide the service for free, why would I want to? Unless you think it would be a good idea to have a domain in my own name... Date Added: 09/03/2005
Josh I was just makin' convo, Mr. Gone. :> I know the process seems daunting, and I am not here to make Mad's life more complicated; afterall, he does a magnificent job on both sites. To demystify hosting, though... nothing below the surface would change, but all requests to this url would go to your new domain name, and all subsequent *ahem* publications would be centralized under that masthead, thereby increasing your visibilty *wink wink*. I doubt it would cost you more than the ten samolians to register the name, and a little fancy footwork by Mad. Then, of course, there's the vanity of it all. :> Date Added: 09/03/2005
Josh Yeah, all I was beatin' my gums about was a unique name, not the whole shebangabang... I wouldn't wish that on anybody. :P I'd beg you to forgive me any percieved presumption -- I am just being a .oO(techie...) afterall :D Date Added: 09/03/2005
Way Now, I cannot place myself exactly; it must be an ancient time, I first thought, but then, no -- waitaminnit -- that guy's talking jail-house talk there -- hold on! What is Clive up to? Ya had me going, ya did! A sound idea too, "for developing longer projects". Date Added: 09/03/2005
Gone Away Josh: No presumption at all, you made a good point. It is usual for writers to have their own domains these days, I know, and this would be on the cards for the future. In fact, if and when publication is achieved, it would become a necessity. Mad and I have discussed this before and current thinking is that it should wait until we know that the first book is accepted by a publisher. You frightened me with that word, "domain". I tend to think in terms of "website", although I know that a domain is not much farther on from that. It also brings up the problem of a name. I have always thought my name does not sound like a writer's and so I might well be writing under a pseudonym (CHM Allen ain't bad, echoes of JRR Tolkien, but better is Allen Matthews, I think). No decision on this has been made as yet and, anyway, I think the agent and publisher might have a few things to say in the matter. I could, perhaps, begin with the Gabbler domain name but this would then require a new domain every time something got published. And look what you've got me doing: dreaming again. Let me find an agent first! :D Date Added: 09/03/2005
Gone Away Excellent point, Way. To explain: the time in which this "taster" is set is not directly related to our own history although there are many parallels. It is another world with its own history and so technological advances do not necessarily happen in the same order that they happened on earth. Having said that, the approximate cultural level of Yffi's time is about late Dark Ages/early medieval; in fact Yffi could be said to be instrumental in shifting his people from the earlier age into the later. I had to make a decision on language very early in writing The Gabbler's Testament. There was no way I was going to do the "quai-medieval" speech that you see in the worst of the fantasy genre; I wanted readers to have a feel for the speech of the characters translated into today's terms, rather than be distracted by some odd invented dialect. Remembering that Yffi did not speak English, I have tried to come as close as possible to a direct translation of his thoughts into our own idiom. I think we have all been in that situation of heightened anticipation where our brains can only think "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...", and Yffi's mind would have been doing just that except in his own language. Yffi was a man from very humble origins and his natural speech was simple and straightforward, even though his learning enabled him to speak high-falutin' if he wanted to (in fact, he made a point of being earthy and direct in speech to deflate pomposity wherever he encountered it). To reflect that in translation I have gone for the common speech of the English today. If we had met Ulvett in this short piece, we would have found that he speaks in much more high flown language than Yffi and I translate him into something closer to "the Queen's English". In this way we can identify very quickly their respective backgrounds and cultures without having to know their languages at all. I also had to make a decision on profanity. Read Chaucer or Roman graffiti and you will find that mankind has always cussed, although fashions in swear words change. Earlier ages were just as fascinated by some of our more basic functions as we are and so words like "shit" or an equivalent have always been popular. There is less concentration on sex in profanity in those times, however, our times being the most sex-obsessed ever. In accordance with this, the characters in my world do not use the F-word, for instance. There ya go, Way; probably a bit more than you bargained for... ;) Date Added: 09/03/2005
Way No, not at all, Gone. The thing is, years ago I grew weary really fast of most of the inventive language used in (especially) science fantasy, so I, for one, got a kick out of Yffi and the normal speech patterns used. To me, just his name was the right amount of “different”. Part of my brain, while reading, is always unstoppably focused on such an odd word as that, so the one was quite enough of a puzzle for this grump to handle, and the restraint is mucho apprecio'd here at the cave. The concept itself I like, and always have; it's just getting too carried away with names and terms that detract from the tale, making it an uncomfortable place to sit. I admired runes for a season, but even they got old. Lessee, what else can I bitch about? Hm, thassit, I think. Hey, the three shits idea is great...who hasn't had moments like those, eh? *rubs chin* There was that day in the 18-wheeler when I looked up and saw the little VW bug stalled in my lane up ahead... Date Added: 09/03/2005
Gone Away I agree, Way, names are very important. Choose ones that are too weird and the reader spends the rest of the book trying to remember them (Russian novels!) or pronounce them. If we can think of short, memorable but appropriate-sounding names, we're well on the way to a decent book. As for the 18-wheeler and the VW - there is nothing quite like that moment when you realize that collision is inevitable... :> Date Added: 09/03/2005
keeefer amen to that, porsche and barrier springs top mind! So Gone, we have had the Atkins diet where people starve themselves of all but fat and gristle, are we now to be set upon the road to the 'Allen' diet where we are bereft of all but the literary 'fat and gristle'? I have a yearning sir, a yearning to be entertained, a yearning for a man of some stature (and not inconsiderable girth) to regale me with tales and wit. For several days now i have returned to the table to be offered little but fat & gristle and what i desire is a little, some may even say a smidgen, of a rich fresh sauce. If that is not forthcoming, then just email me your book! Date Added: 09/03/2005
Mad Mud, a bike, a corner and a car coming the other way flashes before my mind's eye... Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away Well, nothing today, Keef, as you can see. Let me have your (genuine) email address and I'll send the book. ;) Date Added: 10/03/2005
keeefer ive included the real one Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away Your mailbox is full, Keef. Better go and empty it. ;) Date Added: 10/03/2005
keeeefer ahhh joyous now all i require is a link from here to my blog and i'll be happy for 24hrs Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away I'll have a word with Mad, Keef. He's still in control of that section. Date Added: 10/03/2005
Mad Yeah, yeah. I've been meaning to link you in both links pages Keef, I just haven't got round to it yet. Date Added: 10/03/2005
keeefer cheers bru Date Added: 10/03/2005
Jodie I want more! More! :) Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away To give you more, Jodie, I would have to send you the book. Do you really want to subject yourself to that? LOL Date Added: 10/03/2005
Jodie Actually, yes -- I liked what I read! Feel free to send me any and all books you've written. :D Date Added: 10/03/2005
Josh Keefer is right, Gone. I am getting restless, my man! I need input here. Time to git'r'dun, hoss. :-) Date Added: 10/03/2005
glenniah Fantastic Gone. Has Leon Uris died yet, maybe you could be the next 'him'. Find that Agent, Man. glenni Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away Your mailbox is full, Jodie. Better go empty it... ;) Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away Are you saying you want a look at the book too, Josh? Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away I'm working on it, Glenni, honest! But Leon Uris? Tolkien is the one everyone aims at in the fantasy genre... ;) Date Added: 10/03/2005
Josh Sure -- I'll have my girl talk to your girl and set it up. ;-) Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away It's in yer mailbox, Josh. ;) Date Added: 10/03/2005
keeefer Gone, i may have missed this in a back issue somewhere, but have you told the story of driving that guys ferrari? Date Added: 10/03/2005
Gone Away I haven't actually, Keef, although it was a Mustang, not a Ferrari. Doubt there's enough in it to make it worthwhile but I'll ponder it... Date Added: 11/03/2005
Rusty Let's see... if you sent it to me and I read it, I probably wouldn't buy it. Then again, I do the double-read thing a lot... Jury is still out. Date Added: 11/03/2005
keeefer what about Gnoks?....if thats how its spelt. Have you got any scanned in? Date Added: 11/03/2005
Gone Away Thing is, Rusty, it may seem that I lose a few sales doing it this way but, if those lost sales are enough to spoil the book's chances when it gets published, it wasn't going to sell many, was it? Say I give out ten - to be any success at all, the book has to sell thousands. Sorta drop in the ocean stuff, what I give out. And it's always good to have feedback from readers. Say the word and I'll send it. :) Date Added: 11/03/2005
Gone Away Never scanned them in, Keef. I think they're back with all our stuff in storage in England. But I wouldn't blog that nonsense anyway... ;) Date Added: 11/03/2005
keeefer hey, they amused me.......oooh look a lint ball! Date Added: 11/03/2005
Gone Away LOL. I tried to comment on your blog, Keef, but Blogger won't let me. In fact, it won't let me comment on any of its blogs. I click on Comment and it tells me the blog I'm looking for doesn't exist. Stupid Blogger. Date Added: 11/03/2005
keeefer thats odd, it works fine for everyone else.....your fridge will break down next, then your tv will explode, the kettle will boil itself dry without switching off....dont take it personally but technology hates you. Yeah the bloody blogger is irritating, Harrys is really bad for me it takes me hours to post anything. Sarcasmos seems fine but she probably has it linked to some 'massage my blogger' website which keeps her site nice and receptive Date Added: 11/03/2005
Gone Away I finally fixed it with a reboot, Keef. Only trouble was, by that time I couldn't remember what I was going to say... :> Date Added: 11/03/2005
keeefer Understandable, my grandfathers the same when we reboot him :) Date Added: 11/03/2005
Gone Away LOL Date Added: 11/03/2005
Rusty Your algebraic puzzles confuse me, but if you send it to me I swear I will read it ;-) Date Added: 11/03/2005
Gone Away It's in yer mailbox, Rusty. ;) Date Added: 11/03/2005
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