Boulderman 15/05/2005 Boulderman relaxed into the hammock and sipped his iced tea. The weekend stretched before him and he felt that he'd earned this break, this long moment of leisure in the sun with not a care in the world. Three times already this week he had saved the world from disasters. Seven bank robberies and two terrorist plots had been smashed by his timely intervention. It had been one "Boulderman to the rescue" after another, each succeeding day and the constant round was getting to him.From the house behind him came the familiar crackle of the police radio and he heard the frantic messages begin. Boulderman, we have a problem... There are three helicopters staging a raid at the Metroville Art Gallery... An enormous hole has opened up on Baker Street and strange creatures are pouring out of it... Astronomers say a new comet has appeared and is heading right for us... Boulderman, come in please... Boulderman...?Enough, thought Boulderman. Even a superhero needs a day off sometimes. Let Souffleman or the Incredible Sulk field things for a change, he'd earned this rest. He shifted deeper into the hammock and closed his eyes.The hot afternoon entered his bones and soothed his jangling nerves. Sleep hovered at the edge of his consciousness and the sounds from the radio began to merge with the hum of distant lawnmowers to form a drowsy backdrop of gentle sound. Boulderman slept.Two words jerked him from delicious unconsciousness. From the shadowy haze of sleep the words clicked into sudden bright clarity, a flashing neon sign switched on to thrust him from the arms of Morpheus. His eyes flicked open instantly.The Page. From the buzz of the frantic radio the words emerged again. Boulderman frowned but sleep was banished. The Page was back. His nemesis, the one he'd never beaten, the Page had returned to plague him, and on this day of all days. The superhero cursed quietly to himself.Boulderman lay rigid now, battling with the thoughts that came tumbling through his mind. His duty hammered at the door, insisting that he rise and meet his fate. Yet the need for rest still tugged at him. He longed to ignore the demanding words and drift away once more. From somewhere came the mocking sneer: Coward, you dare not meet him. The superhero cringed inwardly as the memory of their last encounter flooded back in stark recall and he knew that it was true. He feared the Page.But Boulderman was nothing if not brave. He knew that he had no option but to answer this, perhaps the last call on his services that he would ever know. His jaw set and he rolled out of the hammock to stand up.And then the fence exploded in a cloud of flying splinters and dust. Striding through the gap, mocking smile upon his lips, emerged the Page, Boulderman's mortal enemy."What's this, Pebbleman?" came the well remembered voice, "Too lazy to come and meet me?" He stood and laughed as Boulderman said nothing but glowered back at him.Boulderman looked at the brazen imp in his fanciful medieval clothes. The reds and yellows, the fleur-de-lys, the feathered cap and pointed shoes, the ridiculous tights, all declaring that here was the Page, the most evil arch-villain of them all, his chosen persona a mockery of subservience. And now the gaudy figure renewed his taunts, enjoying the indecision of his rival."Oh, come now, Mr Pebbleman, can you not make a little bolder? Let's see your fancy trick where you change to stone and crush me. Who knows? You might even rock my world a little."He laughed again, delighted at his wordplay.Stung at last, Boulderman rumbled out a reply. "You prancing dandy, I'll squash you to pulp. You and your fancy words."With that the transformation began, the superhero's skin cracking and hardening to stone, his body growing and filling to massive proportions, puffs of rock dust shooting into the air from all his joints, as he became the Boulder. The Page floated and danced before him, ready to dodge and weave his spell around each ponderous attack. How sure of himself he was, so confident that his speed could wrap his formidable opponent in a maze of confusion and defeat. They moved towards each other, entering the inevitable contest.And then came a flash like lightning, a sudden instant of scything and cutting and slashing, and the Page lay in tatters on the lawn. Boulderman breathed a sigh of relief, released from his doom. He nodded at the new arrival and raised his hand in gratitude."You left it late that time. One of these days it'll be too late."The figure before him, silver and blue in his finery, merely bowed and grinned. "Scissorman never fails," he said.From the next door yard, two children's voices could be heard chanting, "Rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper, scissors..."
Clive
Ned Clever, witty, funny, pun-derful. A delightful story with a wonderful surprise ending. I loved every moment of it. I too, know the horror of facing The Page. Glad to see that one vanquised...pheww! Date Added: 15/05/2005
Gone Away Perhaps a slice of magical realism, Ned... ;) Date Added: 15/05/2005
Mad I must admit I didn't see that one coming, I thought it was going to be about writers block. Date Added: 15/05/2005
Gone Away Ahhh, yes, I can see how you work that out, Mad. But I'm not that devious. ;) Date Added: 16/05/2005
Josh Actually I was hoping for another serial -- I am a sucker for the all-to-human superhero. ;) Loved it at usual, Mr. Gone. Date Added: 16/05/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Josh. ;) Date Added: 16/05/2005
Rusty I was also thinking it was an allegory for writer's block. Fun all the same. Date Added: 16/05/2005
Gone Away Perhaps it's both, Rusty. It came out of nowhere, just when I was about ready to give up on the idea of posting that day. ;) Date Added: 16/05/2005
Way How very bold and smashing that was, man. Sharp and cutting-edge, too. And although I am as relieved as Ned to see the Page vanquished, that (devious) bastid will surely return. Ahem. Coff-coff. Date Added: 16/05/2005
Gone Away It seems that the Page always returns, no matter how often defeated, Way. And he gets this blank look on his face too... Date Added: 16/05/2005
Dana That was just awesome! :) Date Added: 16/05/2005
Gone Away Why, thank you, Dana - kind of you to say so. :) Date Added: 16/05/2005
Ken Very neatly turned, Clive. You catch just the right note for the parody to work. A really enjoyable piece right to the last word. Date Added: 16/05/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Ken. It was fun to write it, too.! Date Added: 16/05/2005
keeefer most enjoyable Mr Gone. For a while i thought we would see some domestic boulderman life, maybe taking the gravel for a roll, or a fun avalanche that kind of thing. So it was a pleasant surprise to find him caught between a rock and a hard place. I would have prefered a cliffhanger because the finish was a bit blunt. All in all most enjoyable. Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away A bit of fun, that's all, Keef. I could have dragged it out a bit longer, it's true, but, to be perfectly honest, I wanted to get it done and blogged. :D Date Added: 17/05/2005
keeefer I wish i had such granite will Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away One has to be grounded for this kind of thing, Keef. To be stonefaced and gritty is what's needed. There are strata to it, of course, but a volcanic temper or a sedimentary nature just won't do. (gneiss, I thought) Date Added: 17/05/2005
Ned First he tells us his mind is geographical, then he waxes geological. I don't mean to throw stones though, far from it. The tale is marble-ous. Rock solid writing. Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away Well, thank you, Ned, though it was hardly a massif task. Even for a limey-stone. When one gets down to the nitty gritty, it becomes easy. Like slipping on the soapstone in the shower. Of quartz, that's what I say now. ;) Date Added: 17/05/2005
prying1 I didn't see it coming. Were you hoping for laughs at the end? If so it worked. If not, sorry. Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away Oh, it was definitely intended to be funny, Paul. If you laughed, them I am well pleased. :) Date Added: 17/05/2005
Ned With pun in hand, you grow boulder and mine the diamond from the rough. You have molten our hearts with your whimsical tale without becoming silica. Happy prospectors are we. Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away If I can lignite a little joy in a few hearts, then I am happy too. Ore, failing that, we can indulge in a little punfest. ;) Date Added: 17/05/2005
Way All this deep strata is affecting my (slight) angle of repose, for the mines do boggle with wonders. Date Added: 17/05/2005
John Evans Whenever I arrive at your site, Clive, I find the number of comments almost in triple figures. Do you have army of little helpers primed to comment the moment your post hits the airwaves? If not, what's your secret? :-) Date Added: 17/05/2005
Madmin Nah, I see the IP addresses of the commenters John and they're all just my Dad using different names... Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away Take no notice of that man behind the curtain, John; he's my son and attends to the techie things around here. As to the number of comments, I'm not entirely sure why it happens. A small group of us (three to be exact) all came to blogging from chat together and we do keep an eye on each other's sites so that we can comment when a new post appears. I think that has also set the tone for the discussions that sometimes develop in the comments section - we are so used to the hurly burly of chat and have carried it on here. So that's how it began really. I also make it a practice that I will always answer comments as often and as promptly as I can. From my own experience, I know that it encourages one to make comments when any comment you do make is replied to - makes one feel that someone is reading what you have to say (in that respect, it's a mutual arrangement between blogger and commenter). I've also had the experience of leaving comments and questions on a blog and never receiving a reply. That discourages comments since, if it looks as though they're not being read, why bother? Content also makes a difference. There are some blogs where the content just doesn't warrant comment. Not that it's no good, but what point is there in commenting where the material is just a series of links to other sites? What can you say except a brief thanks? Since much of my content is personal opinion, there is usually plenty of room for people to add thoughts or to disagree. And, if you're lucky, that can spark little discussions too. Having said all that, a large number of comments is not always a good thing. It can be quite intimidating to new readers to find a long list of previous comments. I'm quite sure that some move on without commenting because they feel that their voice will be lost in the crowd or they feel that they are intruding on a conversation between friends. To those I would say: Don't be shy. I'll listen and reply. :) Date Added: 17/05/2005
Way 'Ello to ya, John. I'm the one out chasing flying monkeys, and I had no idea there was a man standing behind the curtain. Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away Plus it helps to have a Way around too. ;) Date Added: 17/05/2005
Way *wobbles off on two wheels* Date Added: 17/05/2005
Jodie I'm with Josh -- I was hoping for another serial. ;) And I did NOT see that coming! Date Added: 17/05/2005
Gone Away Jodie, I wrote the thing and I only just saw it coming! :D Serials are hard work and nerve-wracking when you write them without knowing where they're going (as I do). I'll do another as soon as I have the energy... ;) Date Added: 17/05/2005
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