Gone Away ~ The journal of Clive Allen in America

The Pumpkin Blog
19/02/2005

I gave birth to a pumpkin today.

Anyone who writes knows that occasionally there are projects that we start with enthusiasm, spend time and energy on and bring to completion, only to find that we hate the finished article. What to do with such a creation? If we have any sense at all, we file them in the waste paper basket, where they belong.

Today, in my foolishness, I wrote something that may have been growing in my head for about thirty years. But it was premature and stillborn, a truly awful thing. It was only the pressure to blog that made me attempt it in the first place and now I see that one should never give in to so mean a motivation. If I strive for quality and truth, nothing written purely to fill a space should be allowed to sully the blog.

Of course the blog varies in quality. None of us can touch the sky forever. But we can, at least, try for the heights, accepting that sometimes we will not attain them. Even those pieces that do not soar to one's personal best have value in that they complement the ones that define the peaks; they are the brow upon which the crown rests.

But fillers should have no place in the blog. They have their purpose in that they teach us not to force what is not ready, but, like the "parts that are unpresentable", they need to be hidden from public view.

I considered posting this "pumpkin" as a bad example, purely to show how badly I can write when poorly motivated, but have realized that this would serve no purpose, apart from keeping me to my aim of one post a day. Some might find value in the thing and praise it; they might even be right, for I would not be the first writer to be a terrible critic of his own work. But that is not the point. To me, this pumpkin is not good enough; it does not do justice to the thought that I have harbored for so long. It goes back into the cooking pot, perhaps for later retrieval.

So what am I saying? Essentially I'm talking to myself, laying down some ground rules for the future of this blog. By putting this out for all to see, I am creating a rod for my own back, an "encouragement" not to break my own rules in a moment of weakness. And, if you see me post an obvious filler, something just there to make up the numbers, please feel free to shove this posting in my face with cries of, "What about this then, hey?"

Who got me into this blogging business anyway? I need a scapegoat...

Clive

Way
Some people hate the raisins. Some cannot stand a pumpkin pie. Some, like me, think beets are legal grounds for divorce, and would rush to court after seeing a can of those despicable things lurking inside a cabinet. I'm not all that fond of pumpkin, either, unless the cook used the right proportion of the correct spices, then it's get me a plate and back off, Lucile.

Afterwards, my hat then comes off to the good chef, even if he is a Pommie, and I weep with gratitude for his tasty concoction.
Date Added: 19/02/2005

Gone Away
Actually, I like pumpkin. But I was thinking in terms of expecting a child and then being presented with a pumpkin to cries of "Congratulations! It's a pumpkin!" The embarrassment of later being told that it's very cute and looks just like you can only be imagined...
Date Added: 19/02/2005

Rusty
The post on my blog today was going to say, "Today is the day of rest, tomorrow will be the day of recovery. Sorry, I'm uninspired today." (about to see if html tags work in here, because hitting enter doesn't seem to move the line down for me.)
Instead I wrote about something that I had been thinking when reading The Fountainhead. Why? I needed some filler, and felt guilty posting such an incomplete ramble. Reading what you just wrote makes me want to delete the post I made. I can't bring myself to do it though, once it's born I always think I am obligated to give it the right to live. Then again, next time I will just stop myself short.
I love rambling.
Date Added: 19/02/2005

Rusty

Guess the break tag doesn't work. Maybe the paragraph tag?

Wonder if it does?


Date Added: 19/02/2005

Gone Away
Quite right, Rusty. Once born, even pumpkins deserve the right to live.

All HTML tags should work in this comment system except that you don't need to put in the opening tag at the beginning of the comment and the closing one right at the end; the program takes care of those. We encourage people to use two break tags rather than a paragraph tag as we found people were getting confused between the two. My son, Mad, is going to inprove the system by making it convert normal text commands into HTML tags but this has to wait until he has the time. A busy man, you understand... ;)
Date Added: 19/02/2005

Josh
Dear, Dear gone. If you could only see the boneyard that is my web design folder.

But like watching those old films of the A4 rockets exploding on the launch pad, there is a lizard-brain exhilaration when something you begin completely disintegrates. At least there is for me. Sure, it can be immediately disappointing, but after a good gander, it becomes humorous.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Josh
I was thinking more along the lines of Cinderella - you know, turning into a pumkin at midnight? Forgive me if I am obviating a perfectly good inside joke -- like I've said before -- it was differential equations in college that burned off the last bits of a congenitally sharp wit.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Ned
Perhaps this is the measure of a writer. The ability to look at his own children and call them "pumpkins". Perhaps to some, they might be beautiful babies, but the writer sees his own creation for what it is, and not for what others may allow. He sees the imperfection in the rendering, sees the spots and blemishes others might overlook. Perhaps this is the measure of a writer, one whose ambition is to produce work of the finest quality, to never settle for less than that which he is capable of producing.

Perhaps, Gone Away is the measure of a blog.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
It's the difference between private and public, Josh. Sure, we all have our boneyards but we do not invite visitors in and ask them to delight in what we know to be junk. No, we take then into the best room of the house and show them all the stuff that actually works. Why? Because we want to be assessed for what we are capable of, not for the experiments that failed but helped us to get to the point of being capable. If I had put my pumpkin on display, I would have been saying to you, "Look, this one is just as good as all the others," but I would know in my heart that it was just a pumpkin. I would be lying to you, in fact. The thing would cause me endless embarrassment and would mock me every time I opened the blog. Can't have that now, can we?

Very often the things we give birth to and display do turn into pumpkins at midnight but then we introduce them with the statement, "This one I did when I was learning. It is pretty bad, I know, but it shows the path of my thoughts at the time." In short, we give it excuse by qualifying it. To put out a pumpkin, knowing that it is a pumpkin, is to become a conman. Oi, you at the back there, what the heck do you mean by shouting "Microsoft" in the middle of my lecture...?
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
Hmmm, Ned. I can see it now: "Hang on, let's measure this thing.........I make that only 2.3 gones, surely you can do better than that?" ;)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Way
Oh, I understood your inference from the first sentence, where I would have spit food had I been eating. That itself is a prize, btw. But I meant to draw you aside, wrap an arm over your shoulder, and say, "When life hands you a pumpkin, either look for a glass slipper or make us some pumpkinade. Or something along those lines; like a lot of things written in the past I forgot the main reason what I meant.

(psst...good job, Josh. You crack me up, man; here's the dollar. Now, wanna make five more?)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
I have noticed in the past that Way and Josh are birds of a feather, some strange, peculiarly American breed, that speak in riddles sometimes but, always and without fail, go straight to the nub or the heart of the matter. Here we have the open admission of the fact, the two of them conspiring to confound the simplicity of this gauche immigrant, this simple man of simple thoughts. How often have they divined my motive, seen through the veneer and called me to task? Too often, you cry, and I can do nothing but agree.

Yet I choose to continue, to stand before them in my ignorance, still willing to learn, still eager to steal from them the wisdom that is this America, for it has its part to play, its gems and its wonders, to set beside the faded glory that was Europe that I plundered for, oh, so brief a time in my past. Call me to task, speak of lemonade from lemons, steep me in this America, for I am open and ready to learn and to learn.

And I will make wine from lemonade... :D I don't care even if it is from California, it's good wine, this stuff.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Josh
I dunno - Mr. Way seems to want to make me into his straight-man -- a role I am unwilling to fulfill. Five dollars is not enough to live on, good sir.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Way
Now a good glass of wine sounds swell about now. But all riddles aside, I couldn't help but have your article in mind as I waded this evening back through 126 pages of my fruits, if you will, of my past three-plus month's labors, and sure enough, there are enough pumpkins laying about the Word garden to cause concern amongst any serious sort of horticulturist. I entertained some big ideas for awhile about doing a few hours worth of weeding, but the odor there is not pleasing at all, so I decided to let them lay and rot.

If the neighbors complain...well, let them go rearrange things.

Now pour me anothe glass, and let's toast to the morrow.


Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
.oO(Hah, see how I divide and rule. Oldest trick in the book. These Americans...)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
A toast to pumpkins, Way, for in them lie the seeds of next years crop! Cheers!
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Way
Ha! Now Josh has succumbed to the mighty dollar ans all she entails. See, pap used to ask me, "Do you want to get paid what you are worth, or do you want to get paid what you think you are worth?", and then he'd light his pipe and wait for an answer while waving a smokey match in the air.

Cheers, Gone.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
That's easy. Being English, and therefore self effacing, I'd answer quick: What I am worth!

And I'd be rich...
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
The implication being, of course, that my own estimation being so low, I'd be better off taking the one I'm worth, which cannot fail but be higher. ;)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Way
Just keep your eyes on those seeds. :)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Josh
I got it, Mr. Gone. I also know that, if you were French (God forbid), you would want to be paid 3 times your worth, take a 2 month vacation every year, and piss and moan about a state-mandated 35-hour work week. Yes, God forbid.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Hannah
Where's the damned pumpkin pie?
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
Way: It seems you put your pumpkin seeds out for the owls last night... ;)

Josh: Does anyone have anything good to say about the French?

Hannah: Stolen by Trevor Rabbit methinks, Hannah... ;)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Harvey Young
I don't have much to add to this dialogue except that I have written and posted my share of pumpkins. I was discussing this with a friend recently and we came to the following conclusion. Those that commit to write daily and to post those creations are a noble breed. Sure, sometimes we post a pumpkin, sometimes a great work, yet we remain true to ourselves and our commitment. We simply write. How often have we read what we consider to be a pumpkin, and not up to standard? But in every pumpkin there is a least a clear path that we then no never to go down again. Vive le pumpkin!
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
Hey, without pumpkins, there'd be no pumpkin pie, huh? ;)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

glenniah
Having a baby could be like planning to visit Italy. You have your ticket, your passport, your accomodation booked. You know all the places to visit, you are ready. Then the baby arrives and for various reasons is not what you expected. You now have to plan for something else, maybe Holland, holland has tulips and clogs and boys with fingers in holes. So maybe it wasn't what you had planned but its still a 'pumpkin' and its yours and will turn out to be just as delightful or as in the case of a pumpkin just as edible. I never liked pumpkin really but then that's another story! glenni
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
Very good point, Glenni. I admit I toyed with the idea of substituting the pumpkin with a Brussels sprout, for I can't believe that anyone likes Brussels sprouts. But the name does not flow as well and so it had to be a pumpkin. But you are right in that nothing is wasted. Perhaps I should modify my theory to state that we should not send our pumpkins into the world until they are ripe...

.oO(Okay, now someone's gonna tell me that there's a fabulous dish made from unripe pumpkins...)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Way
Read enough blogs and you will have your fill of green pumpkins to last a lifetime. V. astringent, the taste of some of them.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Josh
Brussels sprouts are excellent when covered with enough cheese sauce.
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
ROFLOL, Way. So that's what's been causing my indigestion...
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
Josh, even with cheese sauce, there is no accounting for taste. ;)

Do you two guys hunt as a team now, by the way?
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Ken Kaniff
Hi Gone Away, I got here via Rusty's weblog. Just wanna let you know the layout of your website is awesome!
Date Added: 20/02/2005

Gone Away
Thanks, Ken. It's my son's design (he's a web developer) and he will appreciate your comment. :)
Date Added: 20/02/2005

josh
anyone else paying attention to the Google ads on this post?
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Gone Away
Well, I do look occasionally. Literacy for Cambodia at the moment. For me, anyway. Do we all get the same ads?
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Ned
I don't have time to read ads. I have been searching the net like one possessed for recipes involving pumpkins (having quite a few growing over at my site, completely uncultivated mind you). The scope and variety is amazing: pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cheesecake, roasted pumpkin seeds, heck you can even take the gooey, stringy, inner bits and boil them into a stock for pumpkin apple soup. It's possibly the most versatile produce on the planet. And here he is, tossing it into the bin. shakes head
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Mad
Thanks a lot Ken!
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Mad
The ads were selling blades and weapons to me till today and now they're advertising pumpkin pie recipes... I wonder why?
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Mad
...and as for the Brussels Sprouts Josh, I think in the end what you're saying is that cheese sauce is nice. :>
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Way
"Support The Carter Center. You can help wage peace, fight disease & build hope. Join us!"

Tsk. I saw that, Ned.
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Gone Away
.oO(I'm about ready never to hear the word "pumpkin" ever again...)
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Harvey Young
Just increasing the comment score. Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Pumpkin!
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Gone Away
ROFLOL, Harvey. :D
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Jodie
Giving birth to a pumpkin sounds...painful. Very painful. :D It may be a pumpkin now, but if you choose to rewrite at some future time, maybe it'll finally be that coach you're looking for. It's been in your head for a long time. I bet it's not going to just go away because your first effort didn't take.
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Way
True enough, Jodie. Who hasn't inadvertantly hit the Delete button instead of Save, cursed, cried and wailed for a while, and than started over only to end up with a better-looking coach than before?

At the same time, I'd wager Gone has a couple of 500-pounders laying up in his barn, and like me, there is no pretty way to re-grow the....er, orbs.
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Gone Away
Absolutely right, Jodie. The idea doesn't go away; it just needs a bit more time to be ready. And things are always better when they're properly cooked. ;)
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Gone Away
For those who have found it impossible to get into the site today, my apologies. Our host's server suddenly decided it couldn't see our database and refused to let even us in. Mad has managed to contact the hosts after long trying and, as you can see, we're back up and running. Onwards!
Date Added: 21/02/2005

graphicallychallenged
Just three points to make, really..

Gone, Mad is the perfect scapegoat, so my vote is for him.

Pumpkins are wonderful as long as you don't cook them with refined ingredients.

Brussels sprouts all by themselves are also a treat. (Yes, Mad has already informed me that I am weird, to which I replied that someone has to be. It must be my week.)
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Gone Away
Hi Gussie :)

Yup, you're right, it was Mad that got me into blogging. I shall have a severe word with him about this. :D

And, as Way has pointed out, pumpkins are even better if you can turn them into coaches. But, failing that, I'll accept a pumpkin pie... Brussels sprouts? I'll send all mine to you, methinks. ;)
Date Added: 21/02/2005

Josh
Yes, bubs. You see in the immortal words of Ides of March: Brussels Sprouts to Cheese Sauce: "I'm your vehicle, baybee!"
Date Added: 22/02/2005

Josh
Gussie! Raw sugarbritches! :X P.S. - Without refined ingredients is hippy code for sans flavoring. ;-)
Date Added: 22/02/2005

Gone Away
.oO(Maybe I should start a cooking blog...)
Date Added: 22/02/2005

graphicallychallenged
And here I'd been thinking it was cool to be a hippy! Raw is good as well, but I prefer al dente. :o) As I pointed out to Mad, God made them.. SOMEone has to eat them, along with Spinach, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Asparagus, etc., and I suppose I was the one person destined to actually like this stuff. Just don't put anything on it that gives me what I find myself calling "the cholesterol guilts". ;o) My personality changes when I eat things I know my doctor would frown at me for. Gone, I'll take all the ones you care to send, by the way. :oD Now that I've learned to make a 'proper' Yorkshire Pudding, they'd be the perfect addition to Sunday lunch.
Date Added: 22/02/2005

Gone Away
In the end it all comes down to taste. All of those on your list are fine by me, Gussie, although broccoli is so tasteless I can't see the point... ;)
Date Added: 22/02/2005

Josh
I am with the hippies pretty much on everything until it comes to the dinner table. :-) I had a friend once who randomly proclaimed himself a vegetarian, but ended up with a vitamin deficiency because all he ate for 3 months was MacDonald's french fries.

I still to this day have fun emailing him with the title "Yaarr, How b'yee scurvy dog?!?!"
Date Added: 22/02/2005

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