The American Experience 08/09/2005 We all like to hear what others think of us, provided it's not given with malice. We Brits, for example, love Bill Bryson above all other travel writers because he writes of us with gentle humor and appreciation for his subject. He is an American who lived in Britain for many years and so knows us well. Bill understands just how far he can go in pointing out our weaknesses and allowing us to laugh with recognition at them.Much can be forgiven one who understands a nation in the way Bill does. But let someone criticize without consideration for our feelings and we will bristle with anger and defend ourselves whether right or wrong. The same is probably true of all nationalities.My previous article, the 51st State, on the eminent sense in there being a union between England and America, provoked a considerable amount of comment, some of it quite heated. Reflecting on this, I realize that there is much misunderstanding that goes on between our two peoples. Certain misconceptions enter the folklore of a nation and become almost written in stone.My own view of the Americans has undergone considerable evolution over the years. Long ago, while I was young and lived in Africa, I thought of them as a loud and brash folk who wore bright Hawaiian shirts and shorts, festooned themselves with cameras and made great wallowing mechanical monsters that they called "automobiles". This concept came not from experience of any Americans, but purely from listening to the opinions of those around me. It did not occur to me that I was in the company of people who had never met an American either and so I happily accepted the common stereotype.Later, when I was in my hippy phase, I did meet some Americans. The first were Peace Corps workers and they were just the same as my friends and myself; "freaks" we called ourselves. And I was forced to amend the stereotype: the older generation continued to be the cartoon picture of a brash tourist while the younger ones became our compatriots, hairy and idealistic.Then I met and came to know a family of American missionaries. "Squeaky clean" is the only way I can describe them but they really messed with my preconceived notions. They presented an impossibly pure and ideal face to the world. Two things about them made a great impact upon my view of Americans; their house and their food. They lived in a huge mansion that was white in decor and white in furnishings. Everything was clean and white and decorated, the overall effect being something akin to a wedding cake. Naturally, I assumed that this was the norm for all Americans.But it was the food that really shocked me. No American reading this can understand the horror I felt when I discovered that they would happily put a grilled steak and salad on the same plate with a great dollop of jam (which they called jelly, just to confuse the issue). My regular readers will know that this is an obstacle to my assimilation as an American that I still find impossible to surmount.This threw my whole concept of "Americans" into confusion for many years. They became to me a distantly related tribe who had somehow picked up strange habits like mixing sweet food with savory, perhaps having learned this from the Native Americans. Much later, in England, the sentiment was reinforced by an aristocratic lady we knew when she pronounced haughtily, "Americans? Pah, nursery eating habits."It was internet chat that forced me to reconsider all of my previous notions regarding Americans. Here at last I was put in a situation where I was the foreigner, the lone Brit amongst a horde of Statesiders. And I found that I liked them. In the early days, I stood on a few toes accidentally and learned to be careful with my sometimes biting Brit humor. This was made easier for me as I recalled my own consternation when first confronted with how vicious British humor can be; I simply returned to my gentler colonial ways when dealing with Americans.It was their honesty and optimism that attracted me to them. All my life I had been surrounded by people who would go to great lengths to avoid calling a spade a spade, but here was a nation who saw nothing wrong in going straight to the point. They seemed so open and willing to learn about the world around them, almost innocent in their enjoyment of life. I began to seek the company of Americans rather than that of my countrymen, avoiding the "Brit rooms" in chat.Events were to sweep me up and deposit me, ultimately, in a little town in Oklahoma. And I find that those impressions gained in the chat rooms were accurate; Americans are open, honest, hospitable and without artifice. They are also passionate in their politics and quite prepared to insult those who do not agree with them in this area. They will throw the finest details of Constitutional Amendments at each other in an attempt to win an argument. No Brit knows his history that well.To some extent, I find myself in the middle when debates flare up between American and British friends. I know that when a Brit gathers all his stereotypes on America together and hurls them across the Atlantic, he is, in part at least, making fun of his own deliberate misunderstanding. But, to the American, such behavior is crass and insulting and they are very ready to answer in kind. I know, too, that Americans have developed sarcasm to a form that is not understood by the Brits and that this often leads to an exchange of harsh words. It is all so easily avoided, however, if we remind ourselves that the two cultures have grown in different ways and that neither is better than the other. Both have strengths and both have weaknesses. We do not compete against but actually complement each other, there being much more that we have in common than ways in which we differ.To me, differences in culture are things to be celebrated, not fought over. If I may return to Bill Bryson, I recommend his books as they are perfect demonstrations of how we can enjoy cultural differences rather than let them annoy us. He has written of his own people, too, and also sallied forth into the world of Down Under. A wise man with a clear eye and unfailing humor...
Clive
Mad Damn, I can't foment an argument out of that post! I... I... I... agree. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away Hehehe, gotcha! :D Date Added: 08/09/2005
Mad Bah! Foiled again! Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away .oO(Ooh, orange...) Date Added: 08/09/2005
Lynn We Americans don't know our history (or our Constitution) all that well either; we just pretend we do if we think it will help us make a point in an argument. By the way, I've read several of Bill Bryson's books. My favorite so far is The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way. He's brilliant. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away Well, you fool me every time with that Constitution thing, Lynn. I just listen and am amazed at how well everyone seems to know it. :D
Bryson is the man - a great writer and an even greater heart. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Kurt Interesting article, Clive. Have you ever been to NYC, by any chace? I came from a small suburban town, but I've found my views about my own countrymen changed quite significantly when I moved to the big city. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away Never been to NYC, Kurt. My American experience is all of the midwest, Kansas City, Dallas, Tulsa, Lawton and St Louis. Oh, and a bit of the South - Louisiana and Mississippi. I know that this gives me a limited view of America but perhaps in time I'll see other places and meet more of its varied and various people. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Kurt Well, let me know if you're ever in the area. I have a pretty decent knowledge of historical NYC if you're interested, and I'l even throw in lunch with the deal. Same for other bloggers, the insight is worth it, and I like to show people around the city a little. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away You're on, Kurt! Thanks for the offer. :) Date Added: 08/09/2005
Yzabel Reading your post reminded me of a conversation I had a few months ago in a chatroom. Most of us were Europeans (France, Netherlands and Norway mainly), and we happened to "joke" about WWII. Well, not joking as if nothing had ever happened and it was funny, of course, but more in this particular way that we can, let's say, afford because our countries somewhat were in the same basket at the time. There were American people in the room, too, and they seemingly had a hard time to understand how we could goof around this way and not feel angry, for instance with the uber-old joke of how "French people don't fight, they surrender instead". It's true that every time this has been thrown to me by American people, it was always feeling like an insult, and very different from "our" way of joking. It's not even about friends vs strangers, in fact, because these were all people I've known through the internet, and I'm just as close to some of the American ones as to some of the European fellows. I'm not sure if I'm expressing this well. In itself, it was pretty weird, and I think I hadn't realized it until this particular conversation happened. There IS a certain way of communicating that can be very different. There are matters I can't joke about with German people as I would with French ones, there are other ways of expression I feel insulting while other people will find them laughable. Funny, how our western cultures can be so similar in appearance, yet wielding so many differences when looking more closely at it. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Yzabel Argh, the line breaks didn't pass... Err... sorry for the huge block of a comment. It wasn't meant to llok that way :/ Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away No problem re the line breaks, Yzabel - happens to us all when we forget to put in the HTML. ;)
Your example is exactly the kind of thing I was trying to point at. There are cultural differences between different nations but we don't have to let them get ourselves in a froth. One of the things Kathy noticed in particular about England when we lived there was that the whole country seemed to have a thing about WWII - "Get over it!" was her answer. Impossible for her to understand how painful an experience it was for all European nations and that the way we are getting over it is to make jokes about it. But I did not argue with her over the matter - from her point of view, what she was saying was quite right. America has moved on from those years, had its Vietnam and its Cuban missile crisis, its Somalia and 9/11; these are the moments in history that still affect the way Americans see the world.
It is not as if we could not understand how our outlook is profoundly affected by certain events while people of another nation might be influenced by entirely different experiences. We can and sometimes do make that leap of imagination to see things through the eyes of others. Just a little more understanding and refusal to be offended is all it takes... :) Date Added: 08/09/2005
John (SYNTAGMA) Really terrific post, Clive. You've caught the essence of these misunderstanding so well. For myself, I know I can seem a bit harsh sometimes, but when I think about it, there's no nationality on earth I actually dislike. We are supposed to despise the Aussies. Actually we rather admire them, except when they're beating us at cricket. Same with the French, but millions of us go to France each year and enjoy the company of real French people, not stereotypes ~ the French are actually closer to us in some respects than any other nation (but don't tell anyone). As for Americans, you're spot on, they are our complement, which is why we always move together when the going gets tough. I've known absolutely charming Iraquis, Iranians, Indians, Africans, South Americans .... As long as we get to know individuals, not stereotypes, there's not a problem.
The main fault with the internet is that humour is difficult when body language and facial expression is absent. What you or I regard as funny, other think insulting. On the net, irony can seem wicked, though never intended. We have to be very careful of what we say, or we end up misrepresented and making enemies we never wanted. Attention to detail sidelines the Devil, for he/she lurks in the shadows of our foolishness. Date Added: 08/09/2005
Gone Away Good point about the stereotypes being the real problem, John. I think we have to generalise when thinking in terms of nations and so we make stereotypes; the problem comes when we start to believe the stereotype...
And yes, I agree that the absence of facial expression and body language often leads to misunderstanding on the internet. That's the reason I will always make liberal use of smilies. :D Date Added: 08/09/2005
Marti Lovely article, Clive, thank you. Very articulate and thoughtful, as you always are. Far too often we rely on preconceived notions (stereotypes, if you will). The unfamiliar is frightening to us, even under the gentlest of circumstances. I think one of the saddest of human conditions is the closed mind – the unwillingness to examine other cultures, nationalities, or lifestyles for what fresh viewpoints and insights they can offer us. Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away And thank you, Marti. :) Date Added: 09/09/2005
keeefer Bill Bryson is definately the worlds best travel writer (next to myself of course). The written word is definatley easier to misinterpret and i find that comments on blogs are more often misinterpreted than in chat. In chat you an generally tell by the first LOL or lack of one if your meaning has been interpreted and if it hasnt you can quickly post a follow up to ammend the issue and forestall the arguement. I have an odd sense of humour (so im told) and im often close to the bone so i tend to get a lot flack as i bludgeon my way across the www. Most comments i post are meant to amuse (sometimes just me) and some are taken as insulting. On the whole im past caring, there are a lot of people on the web who seem to look for an arguement and so i dont bother to explain to them all, and sit and read and smile at their tirades. Others, those who i have got to know and like, i will usually take the time to calm down and explain things too. But lifes too short to do this en masse. Internet communication is probably going to be the cause of WW III Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away Keef, the internet needs people like you who just jump in, boots and all. What on earth would we find to get hot under the collar about otherwise? Oh, I was forgetting - there's always American politics, isn't there? ;) Date Added: 09/09/2005
keeefer Talking of American politics, i read that christopher walken was going to run for president! If he gets elected, and with Arnie in as governor of california, American politicians will be able to make their own blockbuster movies and not have to worry about all that running the country rubbish ;) Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away Pardon my ignorance, but who the heck is Christopher Walken? Date Added: 09/09/2005
keeefer http://www.walken2008.com/ I think its actually a joke but CW is a good actor and has starred in numerous films Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away Ah well, I can't keep pace with all these new actors. Now Arnie I know... :) Date Added: 09/09/2005
keeefer Do you remember the comic strip presents 'The Strike' a complete piss take about the miners strike, turned into a hollywood film? In 50 yrs i think that could be the senate Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away I never saw it, Keef. And, if it takes 50 years, I won't see the ultimate result either. :D Date Added: 09/09/2005
keeefer Me neither, but it would make a great book. Ben Eltons probably writing it as i type Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away From comedy show to comedy show... Date Added: 09/09/2005
John (SYNTAGMA) Actually, chaps, I think Rudi Giuliani will be the next Pres. The hurricane practically hands it to him on a plate. I can't see the South going for Hillary, even though she's tried to court them. And she hasn't had a hurricane in New York. Jeb is the outside possibility, I suppose. He handled his hurricanes very well. 2008 might well be the "What did you do in the hurricane, Daddy?" election. Now that will be fun :-( Date Added: 09/09/2005
Kitty "differences in culture are things to be celebrated, not fought over" - well said! I have previously done an interview on cultural differences in the west focused on the Australian perspectives too. Have a look if you like" http://kittycheng.blogspot.com/2005/07/cultural-differences-in-west.html Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away Rudi would be a good bet, John - if he gets nominated... Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away Thanks for that, Kitty. :) Date Added: 09/09/2005
Mark Cross Another stellar post Clive. I wish I could be serious long enough to write like that. :) Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Mark. In the end, we all do what we do and sometimes we get lucky. ;) Date Added: 09/09/2005
Stargazer I very much enjoyed reading your post. It's refreshing to read insightful words instead of rambling tirades. I just read one extemely negative post regarding Americans; considered leaving a comment, but didn't since I believe the comment would have been 'misinterpreted'.
Thank you for the post. Date Added: 09/09/2005
Gone Away And thank you for your kind comment, Stargazer. And I can sympathize with your not leaving a comment that might be misinterpreted on a negative post - sometimes the best thing is to simply walk away... Date Added: 09/09/2005
John This is very good Clive, I have enjoyed the two posts and I must say I totally agree with you! Being a Scotsman, I desire home rule for Scotland, but won't be upset if it never happened! :) I am also a big fan of Bill Bryson, I have read all of his books, and he has inspired me to walk the Appalachian Trail one day with my friend , who has just recovered from cancer. Keep up the good work. GBYAY Date Added: 10/09/2005
Gone Away Thanks, John. I was thinking of doing a post on how the Americans see the Brits (seeing as this one is mainly about how the Brits view the Americans) but you have brought home to me that any attempt at that should really be preceded by one on how the four nations comprising the United Kingdom get along. We have a strange love/hate relationship that would probably take more than one post to explain! ;) Date Added: 10/09/2005
Gaelicgrl I enjoyed this post. You wrote: "To me, differences in culture are things to be celebrated, not fought over." I come from a tri-cultural family (Barbados/Trinidad/Ireland) and I completely agree. The difference among these three cultures can be vast but the similarities are obvious to one who spends time among them. I come from a town where, since before I was born, different cultures are celebrated annually in a long festival that culminates in showcased food/dance/parades. Anyway, I will definitely check out Bill Bryson. Thanks for the recommendation! Date Added: 10/09/2005
Gone Away Glad you enjoyed it, Gaelicgrl. :) And good to hear of a town that celebrates differences in culture for in that way we get the best of all of them! Date Added: 10/09/2005
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