MadTV: The journal

Animal extremists
24/08/2005
There's been an item on the news on and off recently that's made me think. You see some animal activists have been targeting a family that farms guinea pigs for animal research. Their final attack on the family was to dig up their dead grandmother and steal her remains. Obviously in the strange world of the activists people are more important than guinea pigs...

Do you know what my response would be?

For every attack on my family I would hold a little guinea pig execution in my front garden. First the little rodents would be given a blindfold and a last cigarette (well they were used in labs) before their demise at the hands of a firing squad. If the attacks continued I'd move on to more medieval methods: The guillotine, burning at the stake, hanging drawing and quartering etc. Until if the lunatics continued I would hold mass guineacides. Then we'd see if the gits really felt for animals....
Mad

Josh
I've always wanted to pull a massive fake-out on the PETA looneys -- like pass them counterintelligence about a massive shipment of illegal shih tzus coming in by dirigible. I'd then fill up a big ol' blimp with loads of fake animal fur and hydrogen, and then cleverly set it up so that their "necessary action" against such a shipment resulted in scene remeniscent of Der Hindenberg -- only with lots more burning fur.
Imagine the larfs to be had.
Date Added: 24/08/2005

Mad
That's quite a mental image you've summoned up Josh. I think I'd pay money to see that! I still like the idea of guinea pigs with tiny blindfolds though...
Date Added: 24/08/2005

Gone Away
The humanity of the man - the generosity of spirit to allow the guinea pigs one last smoke. Guineadom is proud of you, sir!
Date Added: 24/08/2005

Boogie
Don't encourage him! I was with him when I he came up with the idea. Theres something very unhealthy about the way he was going into details about how to kill the guinea pigs. And there's something deeply wrong about the look of satisfaction and glee in his eyes when he talks about it.
Date Added: 25/08/2005

keeefer
If we werent meant to experiment on them they wouldnt be called guinea pigs
Date Added: 29/08/2005

Mad
Exactly Keef! Just went to a party at Dave's and all of his mates went "Oh hello Mad, where's/how's Keef". I think we made an impression there... :>
Date Added: 29/08/2005

keeefer
Aaaaahhh they remember us huh. .......i cant believe you were invited to a party! what were they celebrating?
Date Added: 30/08/2005

Mad
I doubt they will ever forget us... It was a month late suprise birthday barbeque for Dave that wasn't a suprise because he knew.
Date Added: 30/08/2005

keeefer
I hope you got thoroughly drunk and leant back on a chair in the kitchen :)
Date Added: 30/08/2005

Mad
I'm sorry to say I was sober having ridden there... To really disgrace myself I'm afraid I need you about, you unlock my hidden genius for chaos :D
Date Added: 30/08/2005

keeefer
why does everyone blame me, this whole 'keeef made me do it' thing is so untrue? I hope you noticed that no one was bombing anyone back home until i left.......see i turn my back for 5 minutes and all hell breaks loose ;)
Date Added: 30/08/2005

vanessa
la la la... I'm still pretending here... hurry up and get another entry up will ya!?
Date Added: 31/08/2005

Mad
What would you like me to post about Vanessa? Your current choices are: Windows Vista, Return to work, My new Bandit 400 or Google Talk.
Date Added: 31/08/2005

vanessa
um, lessee... I'll take return to work or google talk for 1000 alex:)
Date Added: 31/08/2005

Mad
Ok I'll see what I can do :p
Date Added: 31/08/2005

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