MadTV: The journal

Unusual Accidents
Figures published by the Department of Health have revealed a huge range of unusual accidents which put people in hospital in England in 2004. Here is just a small sample.

  1. Two people were admitted after being in contact with venomous spiders. Both stayed in hospital for five days.
  2. 22 people suffered from exposure to ignition or melting of nightwear, most of them men.
  3. 1,481 people, most of them children, were injured by hot drinks, and most needing an overnight stay in hospital.
  4. Two people needed five days' treatment after contact with centipedes or venomous millipedes.
  5. 15 people were admitted after contact with a marine animal, needing an average of two days in hospital.
  6. Four people had an average of two days' treatment after exposure to vibrations.
  7. 1,839 people - 78% of them children - fell out of trees.
  8. 4,533 people fell when using ice-skates, skis, roller-skates or skateboards. 57% of them were under 15.
  9. One girl needed an overnight stay after being "bitten or struck" by an alligator. (By comparison, 3,508 people were bitten or struck by dogs.)
  10. One child was admitted to hospital after "prolonged stay in a weightless environment". He or she did not stay overnight. There are no further details about who this person was or how they had come to need treatment.

Ok I can understand most of those accidents... but WTF is going on with the kid in a weightless enviroment?!? It's like something from the X-files. They need to track that kid down and ask a few questions.

Did you know millipedes could be venomous? No me neither..


bugger, you nicked my blog for today!
great minds and fools seldom etc
Date Added: 31/03/2005

Gone Away
Yeah, yeah, weightless and all that. But did you notice those four people suffering from exposure to vibrations? They ought to put a government health warning on those vibrator thingies...
Date Added: 31/03/2005

Nah the vibrations is easy enough, that's just pnuematic drill operators... But there's only two ways to get into a weightless enviroment: An aircraft falling at a humans terminal velocity (which can only be managed for short periods) or space travel. So how come this kid seems to have been in space!? And before any smart alecs go on about floating in water, that doesn't cause health problems...
Date Added: 31/03/2005

Depends what else is in the water
Date Added: 31/03/2005

I did know Pootle was biten by one when he was little. He won't remeber though.
Date Added: 02/04/2005

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