MadTV: The journal

Letter from India VII
01/02/2005
Well, I'm finally over my bug after a slight relapse.
All in all it could have been a lot worse.

We had a slight problem at our hotel, our shower was abysmal, and with
all the dust here you feel dirty the moment you step foot outside.
The dust is red and gets everywhere, it is playing havoc with our
laundry budget, which, I suspect, is quite possibly another ploy by
the natives. In Goa they have 2 principle industries, tourism (which
comes second) & Mining/Quarrying. Now, on our various travels we have
passed several quarries, and guess what they haul for miles from these
vast pits to the gods only know where????.......yup you probably got
it, red dust/rocks. I am not entirely sure why you would do this, yes
the rocks can be used as brick if chiselled into squares but seeing as
the accommodation of choice for the locals comprises a few sides of
chipboard with a bamboo roof (essential for keeping the rain off your
42" screen and satellite set up....i kid you not) i really fail to see
what happens to it all. My end conclusion is that they either sneak
around late at night emptying red dust onto the roads (or maybe during
the day, secreting it out of their trousers like in the great escape
or escape from Colditz) to keep the laundry business buoyant OR there
really is life on mars and they have an insane fixation for red rocks
and dust.

Anyway I digress, due to the shower problem we have changed rooms. We
now have a family room with 2 bedrooms (ideal for those argumentative
nights) which is far more pleasant. This morning, whilst we were
getting showered, there was a knock on the door. After a brief
discussion I was sent to the door wrapped in a towel to find out who
was disturbing us. Pulling the door open I was confronted by no less
than 6 of the hotel employees who stood their smiling at my white body
as I dripped water into a rapidly expanding pool at my feet. We had a
limited discussion (limited by their pigeon English and my deep scowl
and irritated demeanour) and as far as I can make out they want to do
something with a wardrobe in our room (it is possibly the gateway to
Narnia by the way they turn up in droves first thing in the morning).
I really have no idea what’s going on but I will not be surprised if we
return to find a family of Albanians with their dancing bear huddled
in our spare bedroom.

We went to the market the other night, it is a vast place and sells
pretty much everything you can think of. Saara purchased a silk
embroidered shawl and somehow managed to avoid buying shoes. There was
free live music and some rather poor performance artist hippy types
throwing fire about and trying to look impressive. I was ill so
couldn’t eat but Saara assured me the food was lovely.

Yesterday was our 6 month anniversary, it coincided with our rings
being made so we thought we would make a day of it. We spent the
afternoon on the beach with some friends (Jan & Barry, a fifty+ couple
from Skegness, they are lovely and good company) and then headed off
to the Taj resort, an exclusive resort at the end of the beach in
Candolim.
I managed to acquire a Romeo & Julietta cigar (No 2 Reg before you
ask) and sat puffing away as the sunset drinking martinis with my
lovely wife.
We then headed for the Banyan Tree apparently one of the best
restaurants here and also part of the complex. The restaurant was
lovely but the food was monumentally average, it is a Thai restaurant
and they had used that much chilli that you practically choked on
every mouthful. We asked for a bottle of wine, it was bought out, i
tasted it nearly spat it back in the glass and refused to buy
it.....the poor wine waiter was obviously used to fobbing tourists off
with this ageing vinegar and stood there looking bemused until Saara
told him that we just wanted watermelon juice and he wandered off to
stand in the corner staring over at us for the rest of the evening.
Anyway, we arrived back at our hotel, sat down to have a drink when
the owner came over. The Owner is a lovely guy called Royston, a Goan
whose father owns several hotels and is also a developer. He has taken
a real shine to Saara and calls her bubbles. He produced a bunch of
flowers for Saara as a congratulations on the 1/2 year anniversary,
which was a sweet gesture so we sat by the fountain and sipped a
couple of cocktails and amaretto’s (Wendy, Amaretto here is 35 rupees a
glass (45p)).

We are off to Mapusa market tomorrow and will head for Paololin on
Thursday (they call it paradise beach so its probably full of touts
selling bounty bars).

Goa is filled with Northerners & Scousers its very odd hearing such
broad accents in amongst the broken English of the natives. Most tend
to be from the I’m considerably richer than yow' school and, as we
witnessed the other day, like to tip as many of the locals as possible
(They even tipped the security guard on the gate not realising that
the tips are pooled and distributed equally among the staff). It is
typical of the mentality of the tourists here and no doubt the
reason why the Indian phrase 'hello money' is so popular amongst
children and why the touts ask ridiculous prices.....they know some
thick Mancunian will just pay it without batting an eyelid and then
they can go home for the week.

Anyway, got to go. speak to you all again soon

Keith & Saara

Mad

Gone Away
More great stuff from Keef. Now, I ask you: would you buy a used airline ticket from this man?
Date Added: 01/02/2005

Way
(I just KNEW there would be hippies involved!) Might we take up a collection, Gone, and send him afield again?



Date Added: 01/02/2005

Gone Away
"There is some corner of a foreign field
That is forever England..."
Date Added: 02/02/2005

Gone Away
Psst...Way... What are collecting again? Hippies?
Date Added: 02/02/2005

keeef
All donations gratefully recieved
Date Added: 05/02/2005

hi-fi Bangalore Escorts
Thanks for the information your article brings. I see the novelty of your writing, I will share it for everyone to read together. I look forward to reading many articles from you.


Date Added: 11/10/2017

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