MadTV: The journal

Guest writing. Part 1
My best friend in the world, Keith, who I've known now for 28 years is emigrating to Australia. As we speak Keith and his wife are travelling across India as part of their adventure "en route" to the land down under. He's been sending me emails detailing his journey so far and pictures for me to post for his family and friends. Now Keith and I wrote comedy and drama skits together years ago and his writing entertains me enourmously, so I asked him if I can post excerpts here. he didn't mind at all so here is Keith's travels part1.

Hi All,

We are still alive (which in India is a blessing).

We arrived safely, unlike our car which arrived 2 hrs later.
Thankfully we met a nice Indian Guy called Paveen from one of the big
hotels who got on his mobile and kicked ass for us.

The place is truly crazy and Incredible. We have seen the Taj Mahal,
monkeys, camels and lots of cows. The Indians have a unique approach
to hygiene, urinating in public is quite acceptable and cleaning your
teeth appears to mean spitting in the street also. That said the
variety of colours and smells is incredible. From the dirty street
(which often smells worse than shit) To the incredibly complex
coloured saris and the sweet smell of incense, you experience it all
within 20 paces and it is often truly mind blowing.

Pictures cannot do justice to the taj, but we have taken some and hope
to send them soon.

We are very safe, the people are lovely (except in Delhi where it took
us 5 hrs to arrange train tickets due to touts and scammers. We were
to shrewd to be ripped off but did spend a day being ferried from one
bent tourist office to the next before finally finding the real thing.
Now we know how it all works we are finding it a lot easier.

I think i need to brush up on my cricket as its the main topic of
conversation and everyone we meet seems to think we are from London.

We passed a big wheel on the train yesterday to which Saara exclaimed
- Its like the London eye yes. Same (see Wendy & John for

On a more poignant note, life is very cheap here. Whilst travelling
on the train we actually ran someone over and killed them (we didn’t
see the body thankfully). This meant a slight delay but more
remarkably all that happened was the guards got off stood around and
smoked for 5 mins then got on and off we went. It kinda brings home
how worthless the lower classes are perceived here.

Anyway We need to sign off as we have a lot to do today before
catching the night train to Varanasi (India’s most Holy city of Life
and Death (we are hoping to experience the former)).

We are both on the Delhi diet, This consists of toast in the morning
and water....with the occasional evening curry if you haven’t been
grossed out by the half a hoof cow or gammy legged dog.

Anyway gotta go. Missing you all and hope to speak to you soon.

Love and Hugs to our families
Dismissive waves to our friends


Smelly Dehli. Now coming awake here is an even better treat. Canada jams its cold hand down Chicago's shorts while I get to visit (edible?) cow and dog, with Sir Keith at the hot helm.

Date Added: 13/12/2004

Gone Away
Presumably Keith will read these comments, allowing me to say to him, "Yo Keef!" Fascinating article and great photos too. Going for yet another record, Mad?
Date Added: 13/12/2004

*sweep sweep*
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Date Added: 14/09/2021

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